I've been thinking more about this control freak streak in me. Maybe the reason that I don't also show that type-A perfectionist side is because there's a difference between being very opinionated (which I definitely am), and a true control freak who must do everything her way to be sure it's right. In the end, I don't really mind if Terry cleans the bathtub or does laundry in his own special way. I certainly do not redo it (as someone who has a passion for perfection might). I'm glad that it's done. I just want to have the right to complain and critique as to how it might have been done better.
I also was thinking that I come by it honestly, as they say. My dad also is highly opinionated. We both speak as experts on most topics, and of course we are not experts on everything. We are just confident in what we do know and express it easily (and probably loudly).
I think I've passed on the gene to Amanda as well. She is generally pretty respectful of us as grownups, however once when we were discussing a specific behavior that needed to be changed, she said that she didn't understand why I could do what I wanted, and she couldn't. Most of our conflict stems from the fact that deep down she thinks that she is right in her thoughts, her process or actions. There are times that we have told her not to do something, and her need to be right or to do it her way, overrules her desire to obey. And when we're discussing it later, she admits it.
It will probably help me to understand that she is modeling opinionated, self-confident behavior that she's seen from me for almost 8 years, just like I model the same behavior that I saw from my dad. Just as I need to learn to control my opinions sometimes, so does she, and we'll both keep working towards that.
In honor of my new resolve, I'll "let" Terry clean the bathtubs this weekend.