Saturday, August 05, 2006

Peace in the Philippines?

My husband does not read my blog (do yours?).

So, last night after he had gotten back in town, I pulled up my blog to show him the "Vote for my glasses" post, since part of the reason I had taken the photos was to show him the options. (Have you voted yet?)

He saw the post at the top. "Peace in the Philippines? What's that?" He knows me quite well, and would be right to question why I would be writing about that. Politics and current events do not hold my interest. I know that they should, but they don't.

I corrected him by telling him that was my sixth entry in my week long series called Peace in Philippians. "You wrote all that? Or you just copied it from somewhere?" he questioned. "I'm not a hack," I replied. "Yes, I wrote it."

My husband is not a words of affirmation kind of guy. Reading the Five Love Languages really helped our marriage. I explained to him that I was a words of affirmation kind of gal. He still doesn't get it. One time I pulled up something for him to read on here, and he read it and said, "You really like to write, huh?" I think that really meant, "Wow, this is really good. I can't craft words like you do." So, no, reading this book did not change my husband into a consummate compliment-giver. However, what it did do was make me realize that I needed verbal acknowledgement. So, when I clean the house (which is an event worthy of praise), I prod him by asking, "Doesn't the house look clean?" When I make a new dinner that he seems to be enjoying, I ask, "So--do you like this new recipe?" It may seem unromantic and forced, but after thirteen years of marriage, it works for us. I remind him to speak up so that I don't end up feeling unloved or unnoticed. The other wonderful thing that this book helped me realize was that he was showing his love to me in so many other ways. Being a Quality Time person and an Acts of Service person, when he sweeps out the garage, or invites me to sit with him while he's watching a ballgame on TV, he is saying, "I love you. You're a wonderful wife, and I enjoy the pleasure of your company!" So, I take it as such. And of course in reading it, I learned that it really matters to him that I am putting forth the effort to make sure that cluttered hot spots are cleaned up, or that he has clean clothes and a meal on the table. This book gives descriptions of all five languages, and by the time you finish, you can easily identify yours and those of your loved ones. Although it is written for married couples, knowing these principles helps you with other relationships as well. There is a whole series, including specific books on showing love to your children, teenagers, and one written for singles.

He became much more interested in the blog when I showed him this:

My blog is worth $152,425.80.
How much is your blog worth?

So, we are selling, if anyone is looking to buy. I think we'd even come down off the asking price a bit, so make an offer. . . .


Katrina said...

Cute post! The Five Love Languages was great for our marriage, too. Although, like you with Terry, I prompt for little bits of affirmation as well. :) But like you said, it works for us!

The thing that cracks me up is that my husband, my son, and I all have different love languages. So we have to work hard to show each other love…and to recognize love from each other. But putting that extra work in brings us closer, so it's worth it!

Dianne said...

I've been thinking I need to reread that love languages book (which I think K actually gave us as a wedding present!) Cute post and . . . my husband doesn't read my blog either. He's welcome to; he's just not a blog guy.

Pieces said...

I think I should read the Five Love Languages again. I was never quite able to figure myself out. I think it is because I don't want to admit that receiving gifts is my love language.

Currently I wonder if my love language is getting comments on my blog. :)

Ellen said...

My husband does not read my blog (do yours?).

I don't have a husband, but I do have a "gentleman caller" who reads (and corrects, and exhorts, and uplifts...and once in a while goes into my template to fix things that I've broken...)


Lindsey @ Enjoythejourney said...

Jennifer my hubby reads my blog a couple of times a week just to make sure I ain't saying mean stuff about him LOL :)

He often says "wow, you really HAVE an opinion about some things don't you????"

At A Hen's Pace said...

Can't get my husband to go for the love language thing, but he does read my blog daily--and that sure speaks my language!

Michelle- This One's For The Girls said...

Alright--I plugged my blogsite and your blogsite and Shannon's blogsite into the "How much is your blogsite worth?" and it came up as $0.00 all three times. What's up with that???

Gina said...

My husband is not a reader. In fact, if it's not on audio tape, he probably won't read it. We did the Five Love Languages years ago and we know what each other needs, but so easily fall back into old patterns of giving what we need to the other person, instead of what they need.

Jennifer said...

LOL about the blog commenting being the love language. Actually, Katrina posted yesterday something along those lines--she's covered!

Michelle--Hmmmm, I was able to do a couple of other blogs on the technorati thing. I don't know why mine wouldn't have worked for you. You have to type in the web address. I think that you have to be registered and have the technorati code for it to come up. All it really is doing is putting a value on the number of links that your site gets, which is a function of being linked to, and also blogrolls, WFMW and that sort of thing.

Hen's Pace--I think my husband ended up reading it, but before he did, I just "filled him in."

Jennifer said...

Your blog,, is worth $243,316.74.

This One's For the Girls did come up at $0, but that just means that you are either not registered with Technorati, or it's not working. Mine just got "fixed" recently, and had been showing no links.

I think that your blog is worth a million!

Tammy said...

Jennifer! I am laughing so hard!
My husband is so much like this too! He is an "act of service" guy and I'm a "words of affirmation" and "affection" gal. We have a few snags sometimes as a result.

And I thought it was so cute how he misread your Peace in the Philippines post.

My hubby reads my blog when I remind him during his computer time but never says anything to I have to ask..."What did you think?"...and he usually says "It was very good." Hmmm. No elaborating or telling me what he liked. But like you, I take what I can!

soleil said...

i am reading this book. i already have suspicions that i am a 'words of affirmation' and 'affection' person while my special person is 'an acts of service' kind of guy. that would explain some things. . .
anyway, stopping by to thank you for a great review and to say that this is one of reads for the saturday book review challenge.

and i agree with the one commenter about comments as love.

comments make me happy too :)

it's the little things, right?

Lauren@Baseballs&Bows said...

I have heard you mention this book several times, so I thought I would let you know that I plan to read it for Semicolon's book challenge. I have often thought we had several things in common. After reading this review, I think our husbands may be similar as well! :)