You'll Never Know if You Don't Ask

My daughter Amanda is a good communicator. I often know her imaginary thoughts ("what if. . . " and "wouldn't it be cool if. . . .") and sometimes she even voluntarily shares some of her troubles or concerns. But often I don't uncover those things unless I ask. Open ended questions, such as, "Who did you sit with on the bus/at lunch today?" help me to find out about new friends or friends' whose status is changing. I also try to find out about those interpersonal dynamics (at school, at church, in the neighborhood) by asking, "Is anyone ever left out? Are some kids mean? How do you react in these situations?" When we talk about these kinds of issues, I am often able to help her in a very real way. Even if a child wants to stand up for those who are left out, they often don't know how to do it. I've told her that if a girl is being excluded, and Amanda is included, she can simply show her disagreement with that attitude by playing with that girl. She doesn't have to make a stand by lecturing them how it isn't nice to exclude others. Her actions will speak for her. When she's facing a friend at school who likes to argue or pick on her, I tell her that maybe that person just wants some attention. So sometime when she's not picking on her, try to have a conversation about soccer, or another shared interest.

She brought home one of her first week of school activities, and I was surprised by one of the answers, in particular. When she was asked to give her happiest moment, she answered, "The day I was given a gold necklace." Amanda's Aunt Dana gave her a birthday gift when we were visiting last weekend. It's a small gold cross. It was given to her in honor of her 8th birthday, and also because she became a part of God's family and was baptized this year. We told her that it was real jewelry and she had to be careful with it. Apparently, that really made her feel special.

Here are the other prompts and her answers just as she wrote them:

Something I Do Well
Soccer. I play on _____ Soccer Team.

Something I'd Like to Improve On
I talk alot. So, not talking.

My Favorite Food
My favorate food is chicken nuggets.

Three Words that Best Describe Me
Energetic,
Talkitive,
and Playfull

My Happiest Moment
The day I was given a gold necklace.

The Most Important Thing in my Life Now
My birthday. It's coming up!

Yes, her birthday is here. Today my firstborn baby girl is eight years old. Honestly, I can still remember the day she made me a mother.



In honor of my daughter's eighth birthday, I would like to start the Snapshot Meme. I think that having them write their answers is pretty cool, because I don't think I would have gotten the same phrasing if I had just asked, but asking is fine, too. Have one kid or some of your kids give a short answer to the following prompts:

1. Something I do well

2. Something I'd like to improve on

3. My favorite food

4. Three words that best describe me

5. My happiest moment

6. The most important thing in my life now

7. Then to the moms: Were you surprised by any of the answers?

Now tag someone with interesting, hilarious, mysterious or spunky children.

I know that some of us have just done this other meme, but come on, it's her birthday! Also, if you do it today or tomorrow, you can link to Blest's Take Your Kid to Blog Day (posts by your kids or about them) that she's hosting each Friday. I also think that this would be great for homeschoolers, because you don't get the benefit of these "back to school" kind of papers where the teacher tries to get to know her class. Some of these could make fantastic writing prompts, too.

So, in an effort to start strong and pass along the "you'll never know if you don't ask," love, I tag Katrina, Blest, Org Junkie Laura, Michelle, Laurel, and Jeannine.