Tuesday, December 12, 2006

What Goes Around Comes Around



"I am the one holding the keys to the atmosphere in our home."
~ Terry Maxwell ~

Thanks to Christine at Fruit in Season for a great quote! I've still been working on my patience and kindness around here, and as I do so, I notice a huge difference in the days on which I am displaying this fruit, and the days on which I am not.

When I am able to show these fruits and be the kind of mom and wife that I want to be, my husband can come home to the haven that his home should be after work. When I don't, I imagine his thoughts are along the lines of, "Do I have to deal with strife here, too?"

My daughter can obey cheerfully, when I live out the example of patience. When I am kind in my requests, she is kind, too. Not only in following directions, but in going above and beyond as well.

I don't want to talk about my son right now. We're potty training, I think. I say "I think," because I'm not sure what key I am holding right now. Does the key unlock a door to frustration and a battle of wills? If so, who's will is more important--his in saying, "I don't want to do this right now," or mine, which observes, "I know you can, but you are choosing not to." I already made a plea for help and encouragement, and got some great advice (if you are interested, read the comments from my wise readers). The issue is not physical readiness, but a battle of wills, which I will have to decide if I choose to fight.

She who holds the key also unlocks the door. Which door will I choose? Can I choose to unlock those doors that hold the fruits that I am desperately trying to squeeze into my home? Can I keep the ones locked up that hold my selfish nature, such as laziness, impatience, lack of compassion?

So, between getting ready for Christmas, working a new part-time job, and trying to institute the discipline and routine required in potty training, you can see why my posting has been more sporadic. If I let certain things go, I am able to focus a little bit more on the greater good. I've realized that when I am making a choice that I think will be best for me in the short run, that unless I consider the effect of the household in general, I may not be creating an atmosphere that is best for me. Even if I end up sacrificing something for myself--a little sleep or some downtime--if my family ends up happier in the wash, I find that I rest a little easier myself.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

IWhen my duaghter was 2 1/2 myhusband was in Korea..there was no way that, as a "single" parent I was going to have a showdown regarding the battle of the wills. Once I made this decision a funny thing happened...my daughter came to me and said she didn't want to wear pull ups anymore..and that was that...she hasn't had an accident since :)..BTW, she is a tweenager now and we have other issues where the battle of the wills rears it's ugly head..thankfully my husband is now retired from the Army and home so we can tag team her ;)

Anonymous said...

Great post Jennifer, its all about making the right choices isn't it? Thanks for your thoughts today.

Lindsey @ enjoythejourney said...

I think you've got it all right Ms. Jennifer! It all boils down to God & Family and the other details are secondary. What works for one certainly doesn't have to be a one-size-fit-all solution for everyone.

I hope the part time job is going well!

Anonymous said...

ooo I'm laughing... I know the potty training thing.. I'm doing 2 right now!

Anonymous said...

I love all the different analogies and life examples everyone has chosen for this quote! It has been inspiring. Your mention of the doors we want to open and those we should keep closed was right on target for me. Thanks for participating and sharing such an awesome post!

Anonymous said...

I love all the different analogies and life examples everyone has chosen for this quote! It has been inspiring. Your mention of the doors we want to open and those we should keep closed was right on target for me. Thanks for participating and sharing such an awesome post!

Anonymous said...

I love all the different analogies and life examples everyone has chosen for this quote! It has been inspiring. Your mention of the doors we want to open and those we should keep closed was right on target for me. Thanks for participating and sharing such an awesome post!

Stacey said...

BTDT!!! (Been there done that!!)

Good reflection on what battles to choose, and how that can affect our homelife so drastically!

Anonymous said...

Good post, and so true. The decisions we make are like tipping the first domino - it's just a question of which direction that line of dominoes is going.

Anonymous said...

I know this is true but nevertheless appreciated the reminder.

Carrie said...

I needed this post now...not because we're potty training! I WISH (if you can believe it). Nope, I needed a gentle reminder for patience in dealing with a 7 week old who does nothing by cry/eat/sleep. And today was heay on the crying. But when I'm calm, he's calm. I can already tell a difference. Yowee.

Thanks for the message.

Anonymous said...

You've got a full plate right now. Go for the greater good. GRACE to you, my friend!

Susanne said...

This was a great reminder, Jennifer. All about our choices.