Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Nuggets

I've been drinking in the parenting wisdom lately. I'm not going through a particularly rough patch, but I seem to be open to what's out there--learning from other moms, previous moms, books and my beloved podcasts.

This week on Homeword with Jim Burns, I have heard an interview with Ruth Graham (author of Things I Learned from my Mother) focusing on her mother's work in each of their lives. I was heartened to learn that all five of the children of Billy Graham were spirited and headstrong. They argued a good deal. They were a real family with the same problems with which many of us struggle. A few nuggets from the life of Ruth Bell Graham:
  • Fear not tomorrow, God is already there.
  • Make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes (don't look back).
  • She prayed for her children with a passion (and still does). One thing that she prayed was that her children wouldn't remember her yelling at them. She did yell. According to her daughter Ruth, they do not remember. This is something that I am going to start doing today.
There was also a great two-part interview with Jill Rigby regarding her book Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World. One great nugget I mined from those broadcasts was that we have traded self-respect for self-esteem. Our cheerleader philosophy of parenting, as most of us know, can be quite damaging to them. Being praised for things for which they don't deserve respect causes them to think that the world is all about making them happy, and in addition, can cause them to stop trusting us. A child who strikes out at every at-bat and misses catching a pop fly but is told, "You are the best baseball player ever! If everyone played like you, your team would be the best!" Interesting, huh? I am going to look into this book.

Another favorite is Family Life Today with Dennis Rainey. He recently had a series looking at Tim Kimmel's book, Why Christian Kids Rebel. I got some great advice about boundaries that I can start implementing now before my kids reach those teen years. Another thing from earlier in April was a three part series looking at Taming the Tongue, specifically on the language that we use and we allow.

3 comments:

Lauren S. said...

Thanks for the links! I do think our cheerleading is harmful. I try so hard to remember to praise the efforts instead of the result, but I forget! I have also been trying to remind my kids, "Aren't you thankful God blessed you with 'fill in the blank' talent," to help them develop thankfulness and humility instead of pridefulness. It is so difficult!

angeleyes Blue said...

Ladies don't kid yourselves....I am a behavior specialist by trade. My kids were for the most part were pretty well behaved when they were younger. Teenage years are a whole different ballgame.

Teens momentarily forget everything you taught them. They will for the most part be dealing with HORMONES! I don't know of any adult who wants to go through high school again.

Most people don't want to go through those growing panes ever. Been there done that! HAHAHA!

If any one thought that challenging Two's were hard it happens again! There is that inane right to exert their independence however this time you can't scoop them up and put them in their room. Both of my teens have lapped me up in height ( they could scoop me up if they wanted to) and the fridge is ALWAYS BARE.

Especially on those days when I go food shopping and spend $500.00. The kids just open up the fridge door and inhale.

One thing I can say is that I can joke with my kids often and SOMETIMES reason with them. If memory serves me correctly--Who can reason with a two year old?

I am glad I signed up for the rollercoaster ride of life. I had the opportunity to jump on the merry-go-round of life and then I had children.

I love this ride I have chosen and what a ride it has been. my husband and I are hanging on the coat-tails of our children and laughing all the way...to the poor house--College is almost here.

How much are they saying tuition is? 130,000/year!

Breathe Pam you are scaring these wonderful moms.

org junkie said...

Thanks for the links, I will definitely be checking them out!

Laura