Saturday, May 05, 2007

Resorting your Friends

I work with a friend of mine in my very part-time job. Honestly, I took the one-day-a-week job to take advantage of the time to fellowship with her as much as anything. To keep track of the tasks that we are each working on, we keep a task list on a spreadsheet. Last week I recorded that I had "resorted personal mementos." When she read the line item, it didn't immediately click that I had sorted the things, again, into the proper piles. She was reading it from the perspective of a person who was trying to keep a lot of balls in the air--family, work, and ministry--and the way the word read to her was "resort-ed."

She suggested that we coin a new term:
resort, verb--to induce a resort-like state on an individual in need of refreshment and release, by physical force if necessary
The resort-ing treatment is most effective if the client can be whisked away to an oasis. A resort vacation is effective because it is in a beautiful setting--mountains, beach or hideaway. It also works to de-stress those who are able to resort because they are removed from the large and small responsibilities and concerns of daily life.

Can this be done on a smaller scale? What can a well-intentioned husband or friend or mother do to help a friend in need of a little resorting?

  • Kidnap her. What's her pleasure? Shopping, movies, spa treatments, coffee and girltalk? When you see a friend reaching the brink of an overload, force her to make time for a small escape with you.
  • Kick her out. Most husbands know when their wives are in need of a personal retreat. If her husband is unavailable to kick her out so that she can spend a few hours on her own in her resorting activity of choice, as a friend, takeover the task. Show up at her house to babysit and send her on her way.
  • Kindle her fire. Encouragement can go a long way when we're feeling overwhelmed. Send a note or a card letting her know that you have noticed her perseverance. Be specific in your compliments about her attention to certain details in her life.
  • Keep it light. Make her laugh. Buy her one of your favorite comedies on DVD. Invite her over for a movie afternoon or an after-dinner late night. Call her and share amusing stories about your own recent struggles. Laughter really does relieve stress and help our troubles not to seem so overwhelming.
  • Knock on God's door. Pray for her, and let her know that you are doing so. Send her an email to remind her when you have uplifted her needs. Stop and pray with her, in person or over the phone when you can tell that she is in need of being transported from her current struggles.


Beckyb said...

What a great idea - I'd love to try that SOON!!!

org junkie said...

Oh my goodness I know from recent experience what a blessing it is to have a friend come to your aid. I had a horrible mommy day on Friday and a good friend let me cry my eyes out and listened to me ramble. Then today she left flowers and a card in my mailbox to cheer me up and say she was praying for me. Boy did I ever feel better! It really makes all the difference in the world to a mom who is at her witts end to know someone cares.


Dianne said...

Good post, Jennifer. Good challenge too. I'm sure I know some friends who need "resorted"!

Rachelle said...

Great post! Couldn't we all use some resorting now and then?

Laura said...

My husband resorted me today. I kept thinking of your post as he kicked me out of the house. :)

This is one of those posts I want to print out and save to hold onto the ideas here - such great ones! Thanks for sharing!