Thursday, July 26, 2007

Eight Things about My Marriage

Summershine tagged me for the Marriage Meme. It seems easy enough, but I kept drifting into our wedding or our courtship, so here's eight things that I came up about my marriage:

1. I've been married for fourteen and a half years.

2. My husband remembers our anniversary better than I do. I get mixed up. It was January 2, which I always have to remember because we had to have our rehearsal on December 31, two days before, because the church was closed for New Years' Day (but I always seem to think it's January 3rd).

3. We waited five years before getting pregnant with our first child--on purpose. We married fairly young (I was 22 and he was 23), so we had some time and we wanted (okay--HE did) to spend it together before kids came on the scene.

4. Terry is still great about being sure he has enough time with me all to himself. We try to take at least one trip alone at least once a year--for just a weekend if that's all we can manage. I strongly recommend this practice! Living near New York City now, and not having family close by to babysit for us, we often stay overnight in NYC when we go when we can get our college babysitter to stay with the kids. Even that small effort is so refreshing and rewarding.

5. We don't really fight that much. I'm sort of a fighter (arguer), but he's not, so that's a good thing. Ever since about our 7th or 8th year of marriage, we don't usually get under each other's skin. If he's in "a mood," I just let him be and try not to be too sensitive. If I'm in "a mood," he just waits it out.

6. We really complement each other. We are quite different, but it works. If you know personality types (I love Myers-Briggs), Terry is ISTJ and I am I/ENTJ. He is neat. I am not neat. His love languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time and mine is Words of Affirmation (and then maybe a side of Quality Time). Understanding these differences helps us make the most of them and accept each other as is, letting some things roll off our backs when necessary.

7. I am thankful for the family that came along with marrying my husband. When we all walked back down the aisle after the wedding and gathered in the bride's room while the guests filed out, Terry's grandfather Pepa hugged me and said, "Now I have two granddaughters." Terry's sister Dana, granddaughter number one, is like a real sister to me. She is ten years younger than Terry, so I first met her when she was only eleven or twelve and that helped us to bond as we grew up together.

8. I think we have done the "leaving and cleaving" thing very well, and our marriage is better for it. We lived in Houston when we were first married, where my family lived, but Houston is big. Giant, really. We lived on the far north side of town, which separated us by an hour from my mom and my grandmother and about forty minutes from my dad. A couple of years later, we moved to Portland, Oregon, then back to Houston, then to Connecticut. The physical distance has helped, but it's really been a state of mind. This is our family, and we try to protect it at all costs.

I already posted this picture in this post, (my third post ever), but I'll repost it for those of you who haven't seen it:

Now I'm supposed to tag. This was Summershine's first tag, and she was so excited, so I'm going to tag some newer bloggers as well, and maybe they'll be excited. I'll tag Stephanie at Stephanie's Mommy Brain, Carrie at Not Alone, Lori at Lori's Comfort Zone, Sportsmomma Beth, and a new-to-me blogger I discovered from the Dog Days of Summer Giveaway (wowee that was big, eh?), Michele at Philoxenos.

If you don't like to do memes, or don't want to do this one, feel free to skip it. If you do it, be sure to let me know in the comments so I can check it out!


Susanne said...

This was fun! I really want to read the love languages book. I've heard a lot about it.

summershine said...

You two are such a nice looking couple.
I have some family in Cypress right near Houston and when we went to visit a few summer's ago we fell in love with that area.
We've lived on the other side of the country from family for over 5 years now and though at times it's lonely I really have been thankful for it. I feel our immediate family is more closely knit because of it.
Oh and your comment about my excitement from being tagged made me laugh. I really have been excited about the world of blogging since I discovered it. I'm a dork. :)

Big Mama said...

I was looking at that picture thinking man, y'all look so young. Umm yeah, maybe it's because you were young. Sweet, sweet picture.

Beck said...

Wonderful post - and look at your wedding picture! You guys were so YOUNG!

Lauren@Baseballs&Bows said...

I love this post! We were also 22 when we married, and we waited 5 1/2 years before having children. I was so ready to have kids by that time, but I am so glad we waited. We were able to learn how to be married and to be more financially stable. My husband and I are similar personalities to you and yours (I can't remember one of the letters), but I do need to read the Love Languages book. I am adding it to my list. Love the picture!

Anonymous said...

Hey great post. I can't believe you have been married so long! Your sis-in-law also thinks of you as a "real" sister!

Carrie said...

Did it!

Thanks for asking!

Katherine@Raising Five said...

Oh, I love the picture! So fun to get to know you EVEN more!

Lori said...

I accept the tag and will try to complete my meme in the next week or so.

You too do look so young! That was smart to wait like you two did - and I'm sure lots of fun for you two. I'm going to have to post a wedding pic too - can't wait to be told how young we look also!

Katrina said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this! And I love your number 5. We've been the same way. It seems to take a good 5-10 years to figure each other out, but then you get into a healthy pattern of not picking fights, learning to diffuse situations, learning when to talk and when to keep quiet, etc. But it so nice to be on the other side of that, with only the occasional argument/disagreement.

Stephanie said...

I did it! Thanks for the tag. We were also 22. And my dress was almost identical. Including headband veil.

Michele@Philoxenos said...

Jennifer, I did the meme this evening. An interesting exercise :)

martha the lurking roommate said...

I have been on vacation! Love the blog, I have been wondering when a Terry blog would show up again. Maybe you could make him write one about you sometime. We were all too young and what a beautiful wedding!