Sunday, May 01, 2011

Time in a Bottle

I'm no Jim Croce fan, but I'm finding myself more and more wanting to save time in a bottle.

I wish that I could put things aside for later -- to save my kids' raucous laughter and cutting up (that inevitably turns to wailing as one torments the others).  I wish I could preserve the physical contact that my son so craves now, so that I could have it later, instead of now, when I want to have some time to exist as a singular entity, instead of sometimes feeling as if wants to crawl back into the womb, cuddling right up beside me.

I feel like a grinchy miser when I react with frustration or indifference to this kind of behavior.  What kind of mom is irritated by her children's exuberant laughter?  I certainly hope I am not the only one.

But what I really want to save, tuck it away to use later like a "Get out of Jail free" Monopoly card, is the words.  Whereas right now I often want to tell the 6-year-old to put a cork in it, because the constant barrage of words overwhelms me and wears me down, I know that in a few years, I will covet anytime that I get more than a grunt in response.

It's already happened with his big sister.  I remember well when I had to tell preschool-Amanda to just sit and be quiet, especially after a long day confined to the car doing errands.  "You're not in trouble, honey, but you just have to stop talking for a little while."

She's not a sullen, silent 12-year-old, but she's definitely found the filter.  Unlike her younger self and her brother, she doesn't express every thought she has.

The time is going to come -- soon -- when they are around less; when friends, and jobs, and activities pull them away; when car keys offer cause me to lose my loathsome job of driving around, dropping off, picking up from church events, sports, friends' houses. . . .

The time will come.  I know that.  In my heart of hearts, I appreciate them.  I love their spirit, their exuberance, their laughter, their chattiness.  But I do wish that I could bottle some up so that I could appreciate it in future years when it's gone.


Mary Lynch said...

This from the girl who got in trouble for talking in elementary school, had to face the wall, so talked to the wall! :-)

Jennifer, Snapshot said...

Oh absolutely, Mary! I am not claiming that I don't know where it came from! What goes around comes around, I guess.

morninglight mama said...

Yup, it's not unheard of for me to say to Red, "You've been talking nonstop for about an hour now, and I need a break." On the flip side, it's hard to pull two words out of JAM sometimes!! :)

Carrie said...

Hhahaha.... you talked to the wall??

Well, I rather needed to hear this today -- on a day when everything I've typed has been one=handed and there hasn't been a silent moment yet!!!!

Katrina @ Callapidder Days said...

Completely agree...the words are so hard. Now, they can be so overwhelming / nonstop / annoying / LOUD. But yes, I'll miss it someday. A lot. And it is interesting with such widely-spaced kids. We can see it disappear in one as it's forming or growing in another. I hope it makes me appreciate it more in my second.